Persepsi

A lot have happened this month...

Dari yg remeh bwak r ke yg rumit , but ape yg lgi pnting through out life aq aq asek jage prasaan org len..

Aq notice yg aq terlalu busy jage prasaan org laen..

In the end aq yg jadi victim , aq jgak yg trase , aq yg touching n aq yg sedih....

Sumtimes aq rase yg feelings aq ni tade nilai je...

Aq x mntak pun duit or anything , juz understand yg sume org ade prasaan jugak...

Walaupun he's one of the most sinful bastard u ever met with , he is still human and he have feelings too...

U dun have to be a woman to have feelings k?

So pls pk psal org len sebelum nak hambur je pe yg de dlm otak korg tu...

Nak tulis pnjang2 pun mcm tade mood je...

So ckup la smpai cni...

(not so)Famous Last Words

This is a note yg aq tujukan khas kepada semua org yg ade mcm2 nak ckap psal aq , in particular seorang budak yg tngah menuntut kat USM penang.. BTW aq x kan mention names , so pndai2 r pham sendri.. I have feelings , tapi dat statement mcm x de mkne kat korg pun kan... Aq sabar bnyak tau x , aq x pernah lpas any discontent dlam ati aq... x kire la sesape pon , aq sabar bnyak... korg ckp mcm2 psal aq , ckap aq truk la... but u know wat , x yah ckp yg aq truk , cuz aq sendri tau yg aq truk ok... tapi truk2 aq , aq x kontrol depan pompuan.. aq x pernah ade due side dlam idup aq , wat u see is wat u get.. but i understand , aq ni x penting so dats y aq jumpe solution time aq mndi td.. from ape yg aq pham , korg x perlu kan aq sbagai mmber , korg perlukan sumtin ntuk lpaskan tension/pressure or wat so ever... so starting from today , norfadley azahari yg lame da mati... norfadley azahari yg baru ni akan terime bulat2 ape yg korg nak ckp n akan simpan kat dlam cm dulu , and u know de best part? aq x kan mrah korg or wat so ever , psal aq nak korg sume hepi.. my feelings? kalo2 r korg tertanye , anggap je r dead n gone.. Aq amat utamekan friendship dlam idup aq , tnyela mmbe aq yg pling lme kalo ko xcaye... n psal friendship la jugak aq korbankan prasaan aq... psal abah aq ajar , frens tu bkan time snang je , tp time susah skali.. n untuk bdak usm yg aq mention kat top tu , ni special remark... I gave everything yg aq ade , but still none of that was enough kan? i gave u chances , tapi they're worthless kan? so better put a stop je r kat sume bnde yg kte prnah ade... Also tone entri bkan anger ok? but actually happy sbab aq sure dngan decision ni aq akan wat rmai gle org hepi...

The Value Of Love(From The Perspective Of Norfadley Azahari)

Love = Pain
Pain =(Giving up self needed time + money + energy 4 her juz to be accused of sumtin else)
Love = Pain
Pain =(Spat on when u give ur sweat tears n blood as present)
Love = Pain
Pain =(Plenty of broken promises)
Love = Pain
Pain =(Left alone in my time of need)
Love = Pain
Pain =(Abg , i can reply to ur messages/comments[editing comments to other male associates])
Love = Pain
Pain = (Abg , y do u refrain me from a lot of things)

Everything I ever did was 4 u , but if dat makes u a 'kera sumbang' as u said to me... Den u're better of on ur own...

I always knew that there was no room 4 US in ur life , there never was... There were only 'ME' in ur life , and 4 dat reason i hate myself for i've given up a lot of things to be with you and it has brought me nothin....

I stand next to you in your time of grieves , but where were u in my time of grieves?

(A quiz)>(Ur 'ABG' feelings)---->(ur perspective)

(my future)=(U)------->(my perspective)


I am writing this not to make u feel guilty or anything , i write what i feel...

Love = Patience
Patience =(Not beating the crap out of sumone who mocks me)
Love = Patience
Patience =(An hour in the rain on a motorcycle otw to Tg Malim)
Love = Patience
Patience =(Being called a liar and juz accepting it)
Love = Patience
Patience =(Waited for an hour at KLCC and the next day , 2 hours at Times Square and end up apologizing for making U cry)
Love = Patience
Patience =(Having a gift that i bought with my 1st salary mocked by u)
Love = Patience
Patience =(Countless number of excuses dealt with)

I have decided that if we are goin to have a future , it's goin to be about US and not juz U....
Cuz honestly i'm tired of all this heartache and u talking back to me...
So I suggest that we put a stop to this love... Cuz I have given up too much of myself for nothing...

RAYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy raya tu all....
juz wishing korg safe n happy no matter kat mne...
N disamping tu nak curi mase sikit...
aq mntak maaf kalo de wat salah @ tlpas ckp pape ye...
hahahaha....
Dan juga to a special sumone...
If I am not worth ur time juz let me know , kite bkan ade bnyak pun nak hold on to....
X yah diam je mcm skang ni.... If x nak reply jngn bkak mail tu... delete je trus k?
Tu je r kot?
nak tdo , ngantok gile..

Excitement

life's a rush...
enjoying on my frens bufday adelah yg pling ckit aq leh wat in this dire times...
appeal da kne reject...
n before i forget i have to say dis 'happy bufday kecik' , da stengah hidup ko kite jadi mmber...
aq harap life gets better 4 u...
last nite was great , cc hunting dari ss2 smpailah ke bandar utama...
guided by intuition kitorg jmpe chronos.... feel gler kat sane...
wat a nite...
hope things get better after this 4 me...
da puas da livin in misery....
and 4 gegurl...
i hope u do keep ur promise cuz it hurts me when u do those things over n over again..

Enlightened

Ade sebab npe aq post tjuk tu psal aq rase ringan , free from all the chains that binds me...
chewah mcam lagu la plak.
hahahah , aq hepi gler psal aq da try solve sume prob yg aq ade skang ni...
the results , who knows ?
lets leave dat to the big man upstairs...
nothing can go wrong rite now , atleast dari view aq skang ni r...
n aq hunter yg bertauliah skang ni....
siyes..
mse mule2 aq men mmg aq noob tapi skang ni...
hahahahha(gelak berlagak tahap dewa)...
pape pun atleast aq dapat katil aq ntuk due mlm...
pastu tpakse la blik ke skola...
lol..
lets hope aq x dpat problem pape lagi pasni...

Ecstacy

Bliss in ignorance...

Aq da decide , im gonna start livin 4 me...

It's a waste of time slaving to other peoples wishes....

Aq da follow 90% ckp people around aq , n 4 wat?

nothin , x de pape pun...

siyes aq da bosan ngan sume bnde yg aq sacrifice...

aq giv up memacam , but pe yg aq dpat last skali?

Nada , es toto es nada...

so wats de point aq ikut ckp org len lagi?

x dde kan?

Feelings

Seumur idup aq , aq SLALU pk kan prasaan org len sebelum prasaan aq. Da t'lalu bnyk aq sabar , kekadang aq terpk yg prasaan aq ni x de nilai lngsung ke?
Aq diamkan je , kalo aq salah xpe aq bleh terime... Ni x , aq salah ke x , pe yg org ckp aq biarkan je..
x pe r jage prasaan mmber kan? Tapi prasaan aq sape nak pk plak?
npe ble aq ckp pape org akan kate aq kasar la , x pk mmber la..
ble org len ckp ikut suke ati , aq kne iye kan je.. nak wat cmne kan? prasaan aq x de nilai kan?
asalkan mmber aq puas ati...

Absolution

Aq wat choice yg btul ble aq blik aritu... Siyes , psal aq blik la aq dpat slesaikan bnyk msalah...
tapi dlam syok2 blik tu slamat ari pertame aq pose , aq x berbuka atas jalan... hahaahahah...
tapi all's well time aq blik aritu... except dat hamster aq da mati sekor.. bleh than sedih gak r psal x de org gtau aq n yg paling best terawih aq r (kecik ko pham pe aq ngah cte ni)..
Gegurl pun dengar cte da nak pkai laptop... snang r ckit nak nakal2 or mnje2 pasni...
abah pun da x dingin ngan aq... tu yg wat aq pling hepi minggu ni... pe dugaan yg aq dpat plak minggu ni x tau r tp yg penting aq nak blik ujung minggu ni sbb ade BBQ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ego Maksima

Semalam aq da ckp kat sorg hmba Allah 'ni last chance ko akan dapat', aq ckp bnde tu ngan jelas smpai aq rse org yg retard pun bleh pham...
die ckp ok... trime syarat2 aq...
td aq bkak page , die da langgar syarat yg aq bagi...
salah ke aq emo?
salah ke aq mrah2 ni?
x de nilai ke janji2 kat aq?
kalo psal org laen bleh pijak kepale aq , pe je la nilai aq?
spe je aq sbnarnye kat die?
2 taun aq jage die , bkan sehari due...
sape yg x trase? kalo x leh ikut syarat tu ckp je x leh...
x yah la bgi aq harapan...
da la , time kasih sbb wat aq tension blik...

Closure

Dis week aq akan anta appeal tu...

ape yg jadi pasni its not in my hands...

pergh segan gile time klas m3 semlm... mne x nye aq b'kaki ayam dpan pujaan hatiku...

kne plak die yg tanye sliper sape ni...

ijam ngan syidi pun mmg back-up t'baek r...

At least dis week aq da rse tenang balik...

For de time being la...

Realisasi

Skang aq sdar nape aq x sdap ati kelmarin...

surat bar tu da sampai rumah...

maybe mak n abah da bace , dat explains nape dorg cm dingin ckit ngan aq..

tapi aq x leyh salah kan dorg , ape yg aq sndri akan rase kalo anak aq fucked up mcm tu...

ntah r , minggu ni bnyk bnde yg berlaku yg wat aq rse cm aq x nak idup lagi...

kalo la aq x de kawalan diri , minggu ni da b'tmbah 1 lagi kes bnuh diri kat malaysia ni...

for de time being aq nak tnangkan diri...

aq nak weigh balik sume option yg tinggal...

n maybe aq akan emerge succesful or maybe aq akan jadi zero.....

Subconcious Guilt

Sjak aq bngun dari kul 2 td , 1 bnde je asek dlam kpale aq....

nape tetibe aq asek teringt psan abah aq....

maybe ade kaitan ngan aq x pegi klas kot...

start dri bngun td sume bnde mcm x kne...

physic td pun mdm ajar pun aq wat2 pham je...

pehal otak aq cm fucked up sngt ni ntah r...

kne plak ngan bnde yg kecik ckp td wat aq sdar , aq ni x bnyk sngt wat bnde yg positive kat dunie ni...

maybe it's not time to make a small change , but a big one...

Bob 101

aq wat blog ni bkan ntuk puaskan ati sesape tapi skadar ntuk lpaskan perasaan aq je....
dat means kalo aq x mntk pendapat korg x yah r susah2 bagi ye...
aq nye prinsip senang suke stay , x suke BLAH...
so korg pham2 je r k pe yg aq nak smpai kan ni...
k tu je mukadimah yg aq nak m'bebel orite? peace all....